Epic Battle

Update:

We survived the Santa debacle.  Zack had forgotten about it by the next day, so  Santa didn't have to send an apology letter.  Both boys were spoiled rotten, and we had a wonderful, peaceful Christmas.

I got an email today saying that race photos from a 5k I ran a few weeks ago were posted and ready for purchase.  Wanna see it?

No, I am not runner #729, I am the eyeball behind #729.  Yep! That is my one finisher's photo.  I am actually not too disappointed. It's a fitting finish line photo.  #729 and I were in an epic battle for 56th place the entire last half mile.  I would charge ahead, he would catch me and lead a charge.  I would catch him.  I thought I got a good lead on him and was going to win, but in the last 100 yards, he found some gas that I didn't have, and sprinted by me for the win. But I left it all on the course, so I have no complaints.

Here are Rob's finish line photos of me.  He captured the agony beautifully.

Notice how I look like I can't breath, and I am about ready to puke?  That's because I can't breath and I am ready to puke.  It was a very successful run!  The goal this time was to run as hard as I could for as long as I could, recover for a few minutes and do it again. My measure of success was how bad I felt at the end of this race.  The worse I felt, the better I did.  Running is a very odd sport.

I was chasing a personal record.  My old PR was 30:34, and I am please to announce that my new PR is 26:27.  My next goal is sub 25:00.  I am sure that with a proper race strategy (and there is nothing proper about going out too fast, crashing, and trying to go hard again) I can get a sub 25:00.

During my epic battle for 56th place, I just knew my lungs were going to explode.  I kept repeating to myself, "My lungs can not actually explode." When I finished the race, I started coughing. And coughing. And coughing. Just as I caught my breath, Rob said, "I think your lungs may have actually exploded."  I laughed, and started coughing again.  After some water, coffee, and more water, I did manage to finally stop coughing.  So the good news here is that I still have my lungs.

 - Kat, 57th place

    

Worst Mom EVER

     I am the worst mom ever.  I mean it.  I really, really screwed up this one.  It all started innocently enough.  There is a super cool site where Santa Claus will send your children a video message.  Complete with pictures of your child, and info about what your child did over the year.  Check it out at Portable North Pole. Wesley received his email first. Santa knew that Wesley needed to pay close attention in school, and he has been doing much better.  Wesley made the nice list.  
     Then I had this brilliant idea.  One of the items that Santa will comment on is sucking your thumb.  I thought "This is great.  Santa will tell Zack to stop sucking his thumb and we can be done with this once and for all"  I put Zack on the naughty list for sucking his thumb. Bad, bad mommy. However, I did run the  idea by Rob, and he didn't stop me.
     Zack started his video.  As soon as the video started, he was very nervous.  He just had to know if he made the nice list.  About half way through, I caught Rob's eye.  Should we shut this down now? How?  We both knew, this was not going to end well.We waited in horror until the verdict.  Zack discovered he was on the naughty list. And burst into tears.  Yes, it was as awful as you imagined it to be.
      I reiterated that Santa said there was time to make it onto the nice list.  Santa just wanted Zack to stop sucking his thumb.  I am sure that Santa will still bring you presents. Here, lets go play a game of Mouse Trap.  I am pleased to announce that there was no thumb sucking during the game of Mouse Trap.  So maybe my horrible, horrible idea will work???
    To ensure that Santa will deliver presents to Zack, we are going to make him cookies.  But just not any cookies.  We are making Chocolate Bacon Chip Cookies .  Yes, really.  It's a bacon trap for Santa.  Because no one can turn down bacon. And because Rob would be really excited about Chocolate Bacon Chip Cookies too. But mostly because it's a bacon trap. And because I am a bad mom.

Christmas shopping and my relationship with the avian community.

I went to Wal-Mart today to finish up my Christmas Shopping.  Ok, fine, to start my Christmas shopping. And I barely got any done because I had to buy pants for Rob. Not as a Christmas gift, just pants, to wear to work, because all of his had holes in them. Don't judge me.

I don't spend a lot of time in the girl's toy aisle.  I have to wander the boy's toy aisle where I don't understand any of the toys. They are are small and mechanical and full of characters I don't recognize, and I am usually just really bored.  But there are little girls on my shopping list, so I was looking forward to meandering into the world of dolls and kitties and baked goods.  

The girl's aisles are a scary, scary place!  First of all, everything is the same Barbie fuschia pink.  EVERYTHING.  I could not tell any products apart, it all just ran together in some sort of pink conspiracy.  But the really scary part is that everything talks to you.  When you walk by, dolls start crying and attempting to jump into your cart.  Ovens magically start singing, and I swear a kitty growled at me.  Fearful of being mauled by a seemingly cute, albeit pink, cat, I ran away to just buy some pants.  Which ultimately means that I still have shopping to do...

After making it out of Wal-Mart without being mauled by a cat, I went to Dollar Tree.  I needed to go to Dollar Tree for Hexbug Nano batteries. For those who don't know, this is a Hexbug Nano:

See: small and mechanical. Hexbug will sell me LR44 batteries 2 for $5.  Target sells them 3 for $6. Dollar Tree has an 8 pack for $1.  Since we go through about 16 batteries per week, I buy them at Dollar Tree.

I love looking at Dollar Tree.  It is amazing what you can buy for $1.  Did you know that you can preform an at home marijuana drug test for $1?  Scary and amazing.  While browsing cheap, in all meanings of the word, goodies; I found it.  My first "really strange item" to buy for my blog! And it was at Dollar Tree, so I could actually buy it.

But a bit of back story first. I don't like birds.  I might even hate them.  Birds do not like me.  I am not sure what caused this riff between me and the avian community, but I have angered the birds somehow.  I have been pooped on by birds 3 times. A seagull has stolen my churro. I have been chased by a goose while I was running. I also have been bit by a duck, a cockatiel, and a parrot in Jamaica. Really! I have be attacked by a bird on 3 separate occations.  So not a fan of birds. My sister, Lauren, on the other hand likes birds.  Well, she doesn't like birds in the sense that she would own a pet bird, but likes to decorate with birds.  Ok, maybe decorate is too strong of a word.  She had birds as part of her wedding decorations. But anyway, there is a relationship between Lauren and birds.

I was wandering in Dollar Tree and I found this:

Yes, those are bird decorations made out of real bird feathers.  Horrible and awesome all at the same time!  And only a dollar!  I, of course, will not be keeping the evil creatures.  They are Lauren's Christmas present.  Sorry to ruin the surprise - Merry Christmas!

And while we are on the subject of birds, I will leave you with this video. Enjoy!

- Kat, definitely Kat today - I must protect myself from the birds.

I am AWESOME!!!

At least according to Chase Carter.  Who I have never met, or talked to, and who I question is even a real person. 


 I have been eyeing Garmin watches.  Because everyone needs a watch the size of the coaster that is a better computer then the one I make my children use.  I started researching, by going to DC Rainmaker's site. He has extensively reviewed every single sports watch I have ever heard of and have never heard of. In his budget GPS review he recommends the Timex Global GPS.


Let me aside for a moment.  I am a fan of budget whatevers.  I try very hard to get as close to what I want by spending the least amount of money.  Most of the time I am content with my off brand, close enough item.  I will admit that sometimes I wish I just bought the real thing in the first place though.  My husband, Rob, is the master of finding the budget item.  It does take him 3 weeks to research the item, create the excel chart of all available brands including reviews and price point, and then 6 weeks to wait for the item to arrive from his direct order to China.  But he has saved our family thousands, and only started 4 fights.  Wait - Rob doesn't want to be mentioned in my blog. It's not Rob who is the master of finding the budget item.  It's some other guy I know.  I repeat - it's not Rob.


Now, back on track.  I have no intention of buying a $600 Garmin 910xt. But I do want a GPS watch. So I start reading the review of the Timex Global.  WHILE I am reading the review, I get an email from gearbox where HeartMonitors.com has a Timex Global on sale for $120.  It is a sign. I need the Timex.  So I order from HeartMonitors.com.  And my watch arrived last night - with the following note:

I laughed so hard, Rob ( I mean this other guy) thought I was crying. I am awesome! AND I am going to be a triathlete rock star!  It has to be true - Chase Carter said so!

I think I should start a blog

So I was talking with my sister, Lauren, about how much I love The Bloggess.  I kinda have a crush on her. She is really funny, and buys really strange stuff. And then Lauren told me that I should start a blog.  That I am funny, and that I can write moderately well, and that I too, can buy really strange stuff.  And Lauren wants to be my PR manager.  That way we both can have jobs that only involve remembering what I did that day, and buying really strange stuff.  A definite WIN. 


Another reason I should start a blog.  I have always wanted to write a novel.  I have the outline all laid out - in my head.  I write sentences and even paragraphs for it all the time - in my head.  Because, you see, actually writing a novel seems like a lot of work.  And I am a subscriber of therblig studies. And there is nothing efficient about writing a novel. (are you actually clicking on my links?  You really should, then you would know what the heck a therblig is, and why you should read Cheaper By the Dozen)


Blogs are much easier than novels.  I can just write whatever I want to.  It doesn't has to relate to the previous days writing. It doesn't even have to make sense. And I don't have to worry about character continuity. Like names. I know that if I were writing a novel, I would accidentally change the name of the main character from Mark to Ben and not even notice, and you would be really confused.  In a blog, I can change names anytime I want to.  Just like I do in real life.  On any given day, I could either be Kat or Mary Kathryn or both.    About 5 years ago, I decide to change my name to Kat.  But you would be surprised how hard it is to give yourself a nickname when you are in your 30's. And when you have lived in the same place for almost 20 years.  People got confused, and used Kat and Mary Kathryn interchangeably.  Then I got confused, and I started using Kat and Mary Kathryn interchangeably.  But I never use Mary.


So we have established that I a going to blog.  What kind of blog? I don't know. I will probably post about being a Momma, but it won't be a parenting blog.  I will probably post about running, but it won't be a running blog.  I might post some recipes, but none of you will like them.  Because they will be low fat, low carb, and full of strange vegetables like mushrooms, turnips, and asparagus.  But I promise you I will do my best to buy strange stuff.  Or at least take pictures of the strange stuff I would buy if I had any money left.


I am sure you all want to know about the title of my blog.  I was trying to win a digital scrapbook kit.  And to enter, I had to post a comment on her blog. But I think China had attacked the internet again, because it wouldn't let me post my comment without creating a blog myself.  So I filled out all the forms, and came up with a username, and then it wanted me to name my blog.  Really???  I don't want a blog - I want free digital scrapbooking kits! So I named my blog "really".  Now I do want to blog.  And I have a blog already.  As as we all now know, the therbrig in this situation is to use the blog I already have.


So you should subscribe to my blog. Because I overuse run on sentences, which are very entertaining. And I frequently start sentences with the word "and", which is not grammatically correct, but I like to do it anyway.  And you might learn what to do with that strange leek that jumped into your cart when you weren't looking.  But most importantly, you can say that you followed my blog before I became popular.  


- Kat or Mary Kathryn, I haven't decided who I am today.